I love the feeling of going from one place to another, because (or despite that?) it gives me a lot of time for self-reflection. Maybe I just watch too many films, but I truly see every trip as a journey towards my inner self.
I need a road where there is no U-turns. No turning back, only moving forward. According to psychology, it guarantees happiness while free choice does not. *citation verification needed, but probably from Chapter 1 of Myer, D. G. (2012). Social Psychology (11th ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill.*
I don't know where to start though. I have no clues about anything in my life, and sometimes it feels great, but most of the time it terrifies me to death.
Right now I'm just trying to love myself more, because I'm already tired of all the one-sided things. Sometimes it's fun to know that my level of dopamine significantly rises due to a trivial thing concerning a certain someone, but that's usually not the case. Instead, this feeling often leaves me with stomachache, which is not a bit fun. And since it is similar to cocaine concerning its effects on the brain, I decide that the sooner I can drop it the better.
And because I sometimes think about Jonathan and Nicole and it saddens me.
And because to me self-actualization is the thing that should come first after the basic needs of food and security.
Anyway, it always feels good to be on the road, whether it's just a 30-minute bus ride to work or a 5-hour train journey to the sea. My trip also shows me that there are definitely people who like me at first sight, and it does not matter that that affection usually does not last longer than half an hour or they are all under 10. I think I can have a happy life. And I will.
On a totally different note, this morning I made myself a cup of coffee. It tasted so good. Sweet stuff (because I poured a lot of condensed milk in that cup) is awesome when used appropriately. And so is Sophie Madeleine's music.